Are You Honoring Your Parents' Legacy?

Uniting Who I Am and Where I Came From

We have a lot to thank our parents for, and we often don’t become aware of this until we are parents ourselves! Who knew it could be so hard to raise a child, set an example and instill values in them, only for them to make up their own mind in the end? Sometimes it seems that they are set on going their own way from the moment they can crawl, doesn’t it?

In the western world, the relationship people have with their parents can conflict with a heightened value of individuality. So often in society we hear the mantra of “I’m my own person,” and “be true to yourself.” The wildly popular Disney song “Let It Go” is about shirking responsibility as Elsa builds a castle of isolation, runs away from her family and the expectations of her kingdom, so she can embrace her “true self.” Have you ever felt that you wanted to break free of your parents’ expectations and experience the liberty of deciding things for yourself, but without wanting to hurt or anger them?

There can be a disconnect between this societal celebration of the individual and the deep appreciation for our roots that every religion strives to instill. While this generation’s collective relationship with their parents seems to be improving, there is still a secular assumption that the relationship between parent and child should change drastically once an “emerging adult” turns 18. That, along with contrasting opinions and sometimes a cultural and language gap, can often lead to rocky and straining parent-child relationships.

Even when we know that our relationships are lacking, it can be difficult to take the first steps towards having a balanced, culturally diverse, respectful and loving relationship with our parents. There’s a reason that, no matter how far we stray from our nest, we always love our parents, and turn to them first when things go wrong.

Okay, maybe there are a few reasons:

They’re trying.

Parents love their children. The things they say and the advice they give come from the desire for the well-being, health and happiness of their child. The idea of us getting hurt pains them as well, and they are happy to go out of their way to help us, even if we see it as overbearing. If they say something that you disagree with, think twice before responding out of anger, keeping in mind that if their actions are driven out of love, yours can be too.

They Have More Life Experience.

One of the most consistent things about parents is that as we grow and have new experiences, so do they. Their advice will always be coming from the perspective of more experience and a broader vision. They’ve endured hardships so that we can have the quality of life we have now! While we were able to drive our own cars to and from school, maybe our parents had to “walk seven miles in the snow.” They’ve got stories and wisdom to spare, and they’re eager to share. Again, as parents who love you, they are waiting to jump at any opportunity to connect to you.

They Represent God.

We are told in the Divine Principle: “An infant is not conscious of God. The child’s parents represent God. Thus, the children first come to experience the love and truth of God through the love and truth of their parents.” The love of our parents was our first introduction to unconditional love, so they will always represent God to us. The way we treat them is a reflection of how we treat God, in a very direct way. Our parents made certain decisions and taught us values and traditions have led us to our current, beautiful lives. Even if they made mistakes along the way, isn’t it the least we can do to honor the effort they made, driven by their love for us?

It All Leads Back to Love.

When people challenge you to “do what makes you happy” as an individual, what is your answer? At the end of the day, everything leads back to love. Father Moon, founder of the Unification faith, tells us that honoring our parents should go beyond only serving them. “Parents want their sons and daughters to love one another rather than merely showing respect toward their parents. This is one way that children can love their parents.” One of the best ways to honor our parent’s legacy is by becoming the best people we can be, the kind of people who light up a room because of our passion, excitement for life, compassion and love for others.

What are some ways you want to improve your relationship with your parents? How are you honoring their legacy? Tell us in the comments below!