When Your First Love Is Your Only Love
Love can sometimes feel like a fairytale, but as our post on creating your soul-mate showed, the kind of love that lasts is grounded in something much more real. Unificationists focus on growing their love over time after grounding their relationship in a lifelong commitment.
We talked about “growing in love” to avoid “falling out of love,” by choosing to expand your love as you grow. However, even though you don’t necessarily fall in love, it doesn’t mean that you don’t feel love. Most Unificationist couples go on dates, have butterflies in their stomachs, have an awkward first kiss and have civil ceremonies and weddings. Learning about love together is an incredibly deep and bonding process. For a Unificationist couple, the person they marry very well might be their first relationship ever—their first and only love!
The Power of First Love
Why is our first love so special and significant? Most people remember their first love with a sense of nostalgia and fondness; it is an almost magic experience. There is something irresistible about that first strong emotional bond with another person. As Father Moon, founder of the Unification faith, states, “Love is a hook; Love is a magnet. It’s a magnetic force! When you recognize love, immediately you are pulled into it.”
Now imagine that intense bond within a mature relationship, where you have already committed to spend the rest of your lives together. The power of first love has the potential to bind a couple forever, which is why our first love is a gift, one that we are willing to wait for to experience with the right person.
Getting Romantic
When we wait for the person you want to share our life with, we are able to develop and explore love safely in the embrace of our commitment to each other. Unificationist couples often experience their first kiss after they have been blessed in marriage, and many take the time to develop and deepen that physical and emotional intimacy during the first 40 days while still abstaining from sex. This gives couples the chance to let their romantic relationship progress naturally, and sets the foundation for a healthy and exciting love life.
Isn’t sex not only a physical act, but a powerful spiritual act that can bring you and your spouse closer together and closer to God? Your partner is a physical manifestation of God and recognizing them as such fills sex with sacredness. We give a part of ourselves through the act of sexual love and because we want to give our whole selves to our spouse, Unificationists respect sex as the sacred covenant between husband and wife.
Standing the Test of Time
We don’t necessarily live happily-ever-after in the popular sense. We will most likely challenge one another. We will have to learn good communication skills and respect each other’s needs, but the magnetic force of first love is something that we can ground ourselves in to help us through the tough times. When two people who have been on separate journeys come together, the path they forge is one that will change their lives forever, and open them up to wonderful new experiences of love. Happiness is when we overcome challenges with our commitment still strong, creating our version of happily-ever-after.